I feel like I have spent a lot of time worrying about local businesses like restaurants and stores, but every aspect of our society is being affected by this pandemic. Hospitals are over run by non revenue generating patients. Almost all gas stations are independently owned, and if people aren’t driving, then they don’t need gas. If we aren’t spending money in stores, then all that extra sales tax we pay isn’t going to the state, and with people losing their jobs that means less income tax for the state. Less income to the state means fire, police, schools, roads, etc. will all be under funded or not funded

I agree lives are more important than the economy, but sometimes I step backed and am shocked at the overwhelming effect that this Pandemic has had on everything around us. I just mentioned a couple things above, but when you start going down that rabbit hole then you see the effects every place you look. Even if you or I never get the virus, our lives will be changed for years to come by its effect on our society.

It is like Jenga and the pandemic is your little brother who yanked out the bottom piece and ruined the whole game. He wasn’t even really playing! That is how I feel about Coronavirus. It is a bratty toddler disrupting everything.

One major societal issue I have seen with my friends is women being forced out of the workforce. A friend of mine came to pick up her son from my house and she was clearly upset. Her boss, who also happens to be a woman, just informed her they would like her part time position to be full time. No discussion with her just announced to her as get on board or hit the road. She is a mother of 3 children all under age 7. Her husband is an oral surgeon and school just decided to go 100% virtual for the foreseeable future. How is she suppose to teach first grade and kindergarten, raise a toddler, take care of her home, and continue a full time occupation?

Some women work because they financial have to and some work because they love their jobs, whatever the reason, we are entering a world where women are being forced home and forced into being less productive in their chosen occupations.

Schools are not babysitting services, but it helps while the children are doing their “job” learning, then the adults are freed up to focus on their occupation. Now all the children are home, and people are weary of nannies, babysitters and daycares. 82% of Child Care Providers expect to be out of business within the year according a Wall Street Journal poll. 82%! There are still the same number of children and the same number of adults that need help. Who is taking up the childcare? In most cases, it is the moms.

As a whole men are not stepping up. Worse from what I am hearing from my female friends is they think the men think they are stepping up, but it is more of a 90/10 not so much a 50/50. The result of this will hurt the careers of women for years. I have had a few friends talk about how they spend most of the day keeping the kids quiet while their husband is working then they are up late at night finishing their work projects. They are barely sleeping to keep up with everything.

The corporate world is dog eat dog. You have to show your worth, and when you are distracted by childcare, teaching, and all the other duties of everyone being at home, it hurts your productivity and when it is time for promotions it is inevitable that the women will not have the same to show in the “numbers” as men.

Women have been fighting for equal pay and rights for decades, and something like this shows how little progress we have made. The home duties are “women’s” work. I know some men are doing great. My sister’s husband, does all the grocery shopping, cooks every single meal, and does all the dishes. He gets praised for this by our whole family, because it is rare. When a mom does that, regardless of her other occupation, it is just seen as her job. Many of my working mom friends make as much if not more than their husbands, and they are taking on the kids, the home, and their work. They are exhausted and frustrated.

Ladies, lets be honest a little bit though, is it because they are forcing it on us or because we won’t ask for help or let them help? I am a control freak. My husband is not allowed to touch the laundry or the cooking. I truly believe he will destroy all of our clothes and blow up the kitchen. (He is welcome to do the dishes though, because the dishes are THE WORST! And why don’t they ever end!?!). We feel this pull to be everything to everyone, and we should be able to “lean in” and do it all. If we can’t then we feel we are failing in some way.

The societal pressure on women to do it all has never been more intense than right now in this pandemic. Even though no one sees you, you still have to be healthy, you still have to be the primary child care provider, now you are a teacher, a chef, a housekeeper, and a loving caring wife, but also be really good at your occupation, and do it all with a smile. If you have a significant other, it is time to ask for help! We don’t know when this will end and we cannot keep all of this up. Life has become overwhelming and there is no escape, because you can’t even leave the house. This pandemic has put us beyond self care, beyond me time, and that kind of exhaustion is not only bad for us, but bad for our kids and bad for our spouses. One of my mentors once said that you have to think of your life as a stove. Each aspect is a burner, family, health, occupation, friends, etc. If you have more than 2 or 3 going at once, everything will boil over. I am here to tell you that everything is boiling over for all of us. It may be time to relinquish some control. It doesn’t make you less of a woman. It makes you a human. Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom or a single mom, you only have so much room on your plate, and I want to say that I see you and I feel you, and I know this is an incredibly hard time to be a woman.